I 'find myself' in dialogue.
I've stumbled into a conversation with my daughter and son-in-law about Duck Dynasty. We move quickly into a deep discussion about gun control, Louisiana, and gay marriage.
This is no argument. We're on the same side of any major political or philisophical divides.
"I watched the first season on Netflix because someone told me it'd give me insight into starting a new business. I was pleasantly surprised at much I could relate to people who hold views so completely contrary to mine. When the father and uncle use their guns, I don't think they do it as a political statement. It's truly just part of who they are."
"Yes, it's who they are, but guns are still for killing and I don't want them in my home," my daughter responds.
And in her response, I hear that I haven't made myself clear. I hadn't looked beyond my own obvious before speaking. There's more to it.
I 'find myself' while searching for the words to express something more true. I look closer, to access what I really meant, what I really wanted to say - refining, deepening. I want to be accurate, to be understood.
"I'm not pro gun, but I am pro human. I think my surprise was to find I could relate to them on a very human level. They seem genuine, particularly Phil and Si. And you don't see that kind of genuine on T.V. much."
As the words leave my mouth, I realize I had to find these 'more true' words in answer to a necessity born of dialogue and I'm grateful to my daughter for insisting I find them.